How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
