Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
