Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
