wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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