Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
