It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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