Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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