why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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