this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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