So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
