Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
