do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
