its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
