Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Are we still banned from the library?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
