he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
