But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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