Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
