I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
