Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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