piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
