i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize