Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Randomize
