I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
