Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
