hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
