Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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