Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
