Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Randomize
