i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
