Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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