this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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