Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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