So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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