he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
