do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
