it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
