i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
