I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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