I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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