At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Randomize
