wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
