one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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