We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
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