We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
