Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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