you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
