Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
false alarm. still invincible.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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