So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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