Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
