you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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