i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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