On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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