I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
