We're facebook friends in real life
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
