I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
