I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
