I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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