I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
